GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE MAY 1, 1998

EVENINGS OUT

Workshop helps men reclaim sex as a sacred act

by Larry DeRolf

Cleveland-There are many kinds of schools in the world, but few that teach you about sex, or specifically how to feel more alive in your erotic body.

Body Electric is a school, based in California, that has offered weekend workshops to thousands of men and women throughout the U.S. and Canada, called "Celebrating the Body Erotic."

The workshops are aimed at teaching people about erotic energy as a life force that can be healing, spiritual, energizing and transformative. The school's director, Collin Brown, is a graduate of Harvard University. He is a state-certified massage instructor, a member if the Association of Humanistic Psychology, and has had training in Postural Integration, Jin Shin Do and Amma. His work integrates breath, touch and transpersonal psychology.

From May 15 to 17, Body Electric will be conducting their first Cleveland workshop for men. Brown sat down with Cleveland writer Larry DeRolf to answer some questions about the school, its work, and how erotic education can make a difference in the lives of gay people.

Larry DeRolf: Taking a class to learn more about sex may sound unusual to some people. How might gay men benefit from taking such an education?

Collin Brown: Most of us were taught that everything you need to know about sex, you knew by the time you were 17 or so. Erotic education is a life-long process. Knowing how your genitals work sexually is like learning how to read-it's just the beginning. I think of our bodies as one of the last frontiers. There is so much more to sex than knowing how to ejaculate. Some men are bored with

sex, probably because all they know about sex is how to come-how to get off.

What is your belief about the connection between sex and spirituality?

Some traditions, like Tantrics, believe that sex is the ultimate path to experiencing God. If we accept that everything about our bodies is sacred and deserves to be honored, then a desire for pleasure can become a holy expression rather than something to feel guilty and ashamed of.

As gay people, we've had to overcome the cultural taboos about sex in general, and same-sex taboos in particular, in order to have any kind of erotic life. This tends to complicate our relationship to sex, which is ultimately about our relationship to ourselves as erotic beings.

Imagine if we had been taught that not only is sex okay, but it's actually one of the most wonderful ways of expressing ourselves in the world. What if we had been taught that every erotic feeling we had as a teenager was a signal that we are beautiful, smart and admired by everyone for being so alive!

The bottom line is most men complete the workshop feeling more in touch with themselves, more accepting. Most are amazed that their bodies are such incredible doorways into their souls.

Describe what someone could typically expect from attending a Celebrating the Body Erotic workshop.

Everyone brings a different set of expectations and life experience to the weekend, so it's hard to generalize. Many men report feeling a very deep sense of belonging to the male gay tribe, which has eluded them for most of their lives.

Men heal their feelings of shame about their bodies, their genitals, and their desires. Some men have a transcendent experience where they feel something mystical or deeply

appreciative about being alive.

Most men are surprised by how much bigger than just erotic sensations their experience becomes. Once deep energy begins to flow in your body, you can tap into large reservoirs of healing, emotional clarity, creativity, self-love, and compassion.

What kinds of things do men learn in Body Electric classes?

We teach men how to turn on their whole bodies, not just their genitals. We teach men how to relax when they're building erotic energy so the feelings can be felt more deeply in their bodies.

We also teach men how to stay present to the sensations in their bodies rather than drifting off into fantasies. Men become more aware of their desires and how to communicate them clearly to a partner. We teach men how to let energy build in their body, so they can resist the temptation to ejaculate and experience what we call full-body orgasmic energy.

A full body orgasm? That may be a new idea for some gay men.

Yes. A full body orgasm is one that takes the very pleasurable sensations men feel in their genitals and spreads those sensations to the entire body. Full-body orgasms don't involve ejaculation, so they tend to be very energizing and they can extend the peak levels of pleasure for much longer periods.

Is this in any way connected to multiple orgasms?

Exactly. By not ejaculating, your.body's capacity to feel wave after wave of pleasure increases enormously. One of the big myths about male sexuality is that only a few, gifted men are multiply orgasmic. The truth is we're all multiply orgasmic, we just need to learn the techniques that make it possible.

What are some of those techniques? Breath is a very basic one. We can wake up emotionally, erotically, spiritually, and physically when we breathe "consciously," to increase energy. It sounds so simple, and yet most people never change their breathing patterns so they haven't ever explored this frontier in their body.

If we can find ways to open our feelings, and feel the scary things, the sadness, the loneliness, the anger, the grief, that then opens us energetically to be able to feel more of the pleasurable sensations: the ecstasy, the joy and the pure animal sensations of being alive and in a magnificent body.

We also use touch and massage to wake up body sensations. Our bodies were designed to be nurtured and nourished through touch, yet most people are receiving hardly any touch at all. This workshop teaches massage skills that enhance pleasure sensations.

Another technique is learning how to receive pleasure. Most men are great at giving pleasure, but they find it challenging to let go and surrender into receiving. In the gay com-

munity we divide ourselves between givers and receivers tops and bottoms. It's partly a control issue; where you think things have to be certain way to accomplish familiar goals.

Surrendering to the energy is a very powerful way to let go of needing to know what's going to happen. When you genuinely open to the unknown, you give yourself an amazing opportunity to explore sensations. This is where sexual energy has many things to teach us about ourselves and it's never boring.

Being naked in front of a group of strangers can be pretty awkward and challenging for some. How do you confront those fears?

Most men who come to our workshops have fears about what they're getting themselves into, which is perfectly natural. Fears can be helpful indicators that we should pay attention to, but if they stop us from even trying to explore, then we are allowing them to limit our learning and growth. Celebrating the Body Erotic is designed to support your sense of safety and to help you be aware of your feelings as you go.

I've taught this class to hundreds of men over the years and everyone walks in the door with some fear and trepidation. I've also seen those same men finish the workshop, having learned more about their bodies in two days than they were taught in a lifetime. Body Electric believes that ultimately, our bodies are our greatest teachers. If we can learn how to trust our body's instincts, our erotic lives can be fulfilling, educational, entertaining and deeply spiritual.

Your program does outreach to men living with HIV. How does the work of Body Electric especially benefit them?

Men who are dealing with HIV have a tendency to shut down erotically, which deepens their sense of isolation and actually disconnects them from a very powerful source of healing energy. Receiving loving touch in a safe and supportive environment has helped many men feel better about themselves, and has shown them how they can generate energy from within for emotional, spiritual and physical healing.

Men living with HIV have found Body Electric to be a kind of threshold experience that reconnects them to what they remember enjoying about erotic energy.

(Body Electric will be offering a residential weekend workshop specifically for men living with HIV in Cleveland October 23-25. Scholarships are available).

For more information and to register for the May 15-17 Celebrating the Body Erotic, call 216-556-3481. ♡

Larry DeRolf is a resident of the Cleveland area and plans to attend Celebrating the Body Erotic.

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